


There's Enough Mako Rutledge to Go Around

by KCeeRae



Series: Tell Me Where You're From [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Confronting your past, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Moving On, Roadhog had a family he loved a lot, Roadhog used to be married and have a daughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 08:58:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13163601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KCeeRae/pseuds/KCeeRae
Summary: They've been driving for days with no shelter in sight. When Junkrat sees a farmhouse in the distance he thinks they've hit the jackpot. Roadhog, on the other hand, is confronted with memories he left behind a long time ago. He hadn't realized how much grief he's been holding on to.(unbeta'd)





	There's Enough Mako Rutledge to Go Around

Junkrat is the one who sees it in the distance. They’ve been driving across the wasteland for weeks, it feels like, and they’ve found nothing, jackshit, just sand, and dirt, and  _ shit _ . They’re low on supplies and Junkrat absolutely hollers when he sees the farmhouse in the distance. He stands up in his sidecar and waves his prosthetic arm at it, 

“Roadie! Saving grace for us, mate! Tell me I ain’t hallucinatin’!” Junkrat demands and no, Roadhog knows he isn’t. 

In the distance is a large white farmhouse. It has a red barn in the back that looks like it’s seen better days, but the house itself seems fairly intact, at this distance. The fence surrounding the property looks knocked over. Raiders have definitely been here, there’d be nothing left. 

After all, Roadhog had taken everything the house had to offer when he left it the first time. Anything he missed would have been picked up during the last twenty years. 

Roadhog slams on the breaks when they’re approximately ten minutes walk from the house and Junkrat shouts at him, “Oi! Whatcha’ think yer doin’, huh!? Are ya stupid!? Sun stroke finally settle in?!” Junkrat pokes at Roadhog’s snout with a finger and Roadhog grunts. 

“Not going there.” 

“Not goin-  _ Roadie _ .” Junkrat clicks his tongue, looks up at his companion with the most pleading look, “I don’ know what yer thinkin’, okay? But that’s a  _ house _ . Wit’ shade. Maybe grub, water, hell, a  _ bed!” _ Junkrat looks giddy at the prospect and jumps out of his sidecar, “We’re goin’!” 

Roadhog doesn’t move from his seat on the bike.

Junkrat stares at him before grabbing his bag of supplies and scrap out of the sidecar, “Fine! I’ll go! If something eats me between here and there it’ll be your fault!” 

Junkrat begins walking but turns, seeing if Roadhog is following him. He isn’t. Junkrat groans, stomping back to the bike and pulling on Roadhog’s much larger arm, “ _ Road. Hog. Come. On.” _ He grunts, pulling so hard he falls down onto his ass, still clinging to Roadhog’s arm, who remains unmoved. 

“ Come on, Roadho-!” 

“ _ No!” _ Roadhog bellows and Junkrat scrambles to get away, releasing his partner. 

Roadhog swallows, looking at Jamie’s face and feeling a pang of guilt, “... probably a trap. Bad feelin’ ‘bout it. Let’s ride on.” 

Junkrat swallows, gets to his feet, “... No.” He says firmly, “ ‘m tired, hungry, I got a headache from the bleedin’ sun. I wanna rest, in a bed. I don’ care if you won’t.” He picks up his bags again and begins the trek toward the farmhouse, “ More than welcome to join me!” 

Roadhog doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want to see the empty, broken husk of his old life. He’ll let Junkrat partake in whatever is left there, it was supposed to be a shelter after all. Then they’d leave, and Mako wouldn’t have to dig up anymore memories than he already was, parked a ways away. He wouldn’t get closer and see what he had left.    
  


\------   


Roadhog sets up a makeshift camp. He builds a fire, heats a can of beans he finds in his saddlebag, and rests his body against the bike. All he has for cover is a blanket he unravels and lays over his bottom half. 

Junkrat doesn’t come back out until morning and he looks like he has a full pack. 

“Roadie!” He yells, hobbling up to the bike and excitedly showing his partner what he found in the house, “ Didn’t explore it all cause I was busy laying on the  _ king size bed!”  _ Roadhog grimaced, closing his eyes behind his mask. “You’d fit on it! Swear on me other leg!” He cackles and dumps out the canned good and preserves he found, “Also! Runnin’ fuckin’ water! Ah! I did boil it before I drank it, but look-!” He does a 360 spin, “-showered!” 

Roadhog finally takes a good look at Junkrat and despite his clothes still being filthy the man’s skin is clean of his usual layer of dirt. He grunts, 

“Good. Get on the bike then.” Roadhog stands and raises an eyebrow under his mask as Junkrat starts howling with laughter. 

“Mate, Roadie, pal, partner, buddy. No way. Not for a bit. There’s not a soul for miles and there’s water an’ a bed. No way! Puttin’ my foot down!” Junkrat knocks his pegleg against the ground defiantly and Roadhog feels his hackles rise. 

Being this close… he hadn’t slept, has been on edge. Roadhog wants to get as far away from this place as possible, even if he has to ring Junkrat’s neck to do it.

“An’ I’m tellin’ ya. We. Are.  _ Leaving _ .” Roadhog snarls, picking up Jamie’s pack and throwing it in the sidecar. Junkrat squawks and scrambles to take it back, pushing past Roadhog to the best of his abilities. 

“I’m stayin’ I tell ya!” Junkrat yells back, “There’s a little slice of heaven here in the wasteland and ya think it’s too good ta be true and yer paranoid!” He accuses, taking a step back toward the house. 

“Junkrat.” 

“Roadhog. I need this. We’ve been running for weeks. I’m staying for a tic’ and yer more’n welcome to join me. I’m serious.” He narrows his eyes and Roadhog groans in frustration. 

“Get movin’ then.” He huffs, settling back down by the bike. Fucking Junkrat. 

Jamie look at him for a moment before turning and jogging back to the farmhouse. Fucking Roadhog and his stupid bullshit. He didn’t know what he was missing. 

 

\------

Four days and Roadhog has barely slept as wink as he’s sat and baked under the Outback sun. Periodically Junkrat will bring him out something he finds in the house.  _ “Look Roadie! Can of carrots! Never had a carrot! Oh Roadie look! Found some clothes that fit me! Roadie!”  _

Roadhog ignored him, for the most part. Mako knew that he was being cruel, that he hadn’t been this distant from Junkrat in a long time. Distance was all he had, in the face of his old life. He couldn’t handle being anything else right now. 

The late night chats, the brushes of their arms against one another, the long stares, - mask to Junkrat’s adoring eyes-, and the occasional bit of rooting… those weren’t happening now. They couldn’t in this environment, when Mako closed off and only Roadhog was left. 

He’s trying to get some semblance of rest on the fifth night when he hears the scream, followed by an explosion. He’s on his bike, scrap gun in hand in seconds. When he drives up to the farmhouse he sees two men shooting at the house and another already blown to bits.

They turn when they hear the roar of the engine, just in time for Roadhog to hook one and pull it into the oncoming bike. The raider’s body going flying. Roadhog brakes, hopping off his bike. The other raider turns and shoots at him. Roadhog just grunts at the feel of shrapnel bouncing off his skin and hooks this man, right into one of Junkrat’s traps. He steps back, watches as the man explodes.

“Roadie!” Junkrat exclaims, running out of the house. He looks frazzled, wearing an old oversized t-shirt. It was one of his. 

“... You alright?” He grunts, noticing Junkrat has his arm off. He’s really gotten comfortable. 

“ Yeah! Yeah, they just showed up a minute ago, probably the guys squattin’ ‘ere. Thanks for comin’ so quick. Wasn’t sure quite what to do. You always got me back, Roadhog…” Junkrat fidgets, bouncing back and forth on his real and peg leg. 

“ It’s nice! In here. I’d like if ya came in, I mean, yer here, yeah? And I bet you aren’t sleepin’. So…” Jamie motions to the door like he’s inviting Roadhog into his own home. 

Roadhog stares at the deck that’s gotten decrepit over the years, his eyes following the railing and looking up at the door. It used to be painted a bright pink because she’d insisted on it and Roadhog hadn’t been able to say no. He swallows. The paint has all faded now, he wonders what else has changed. 

“...’m doin’ a check of the place. I won’t decide nothin’.” Roadhog says and Junkrat gasps in delight, holding the door open. 

“Come in! See the splendor it has to offer!” 

Roadhog knows he’ll find no splendor, not when he’s seen this place at its prime. 

_ “Mako.” She breathes as they drive up to the house for the first time, “Is this really ours?”  _

_ “All ours.” He promises, opening her side of the car and helping her out, a gentle hand resting on her round belly. Mako looks a little nervous as he watches her face, “... you really like it, Ruiha?” Mako asks, watching her face.  _

_ Her round face lights up in the most beautiful smile and she kisses him, arms thrown around his neck, “Oh Mako. Let’s go inside.”  _

 

Roadhog steps in through the door and stares. The welcome mat is completely torn to shreds in the entry and he notices Junkrat’s boot thrown haphazardly to the side. He continues in through the entry hall that opens up to the living room.

The plush beige sofa is now brown with age and stained with god knows what. The mantle is empty of any of the decorations he had left. 

 

_ “Oh! An entry with a closet. Oh, there’s furniture! Mako.” Ruiha pulls him along by the hand through the hall and into the living room. She pushes him down onto the sofa and kisses him there. She seems in no hurry to discover the rest of the house.  _

_ “Ruiha, R-” Mako laughs as his face is peppered in kisses, “Please, there’s so much more.”  _

_ “I’ll cry if there’s more.” She wails, clinging to him in delight, “You’re magical, Mako. Just…” There’s love in her eyes and Mako decides holding her on the sofa for a bit longer would be okay. It’d be a shame to let all that love go to waste.  _

 

Roadhog pulls his eyes away from the sofa, fists clenched as he steps into the kitchen. Ransacked by Junkrat, of course, with cans and bottles all over the place. 

“Amazin’, huh!? Look at all this food someone left. Poor bastards, better for us though! God, I want to eat everythin’ Roadie but I ‘aven’t! Not yet, anyhow.” Junkrat cackles, oblivious to the fact that Roadhog’s mind is elsewhere. 

Downstairs bathroom, dirty but the water runs. The stairs creak when he walks up them, but that’s nothing new. They’d done that from the day they’d moved in. He looks to the end of the hallway, and the first door he sees when he finished his ascent. A bright pink door with wooden letters hung on it. A few have gone missing or fallen, ‘P--IA’. 

 

_ Ruiha excitedly walks up the stairs, having gotten bored of the kitchen and bathroom. She wasn’t much of a cook, usually leaving that up to Mako. When she reaches the top of the stairs her eyes land on the pink door at the end of the hall and she reads the letters hanging on it, _

_“ ‘Pania’… Mako.” There’s happy tears in her eye when she turns to her husband. “We don’t even know if it’s a girl yet.” She tries and he shakes his head, cradling her belly._ _  
__“I know it’s a girl. Our little spirit of the sea. She’s going to bring us so much happiness, I know it’s a girl, our little girl.” He breathes, wiping a tear from her cheek. “ Come look at what I did to her nursery, Ruiha.”_

Not much of the mural has survived but the distinct shapes of sea creatures and ocean waves are still visible along the wall. It doesn’t look like Junkrat had bothered coming in here yet. 

“Baby’s room? Huh, musta been from a long time ago.” Junkrat muses, stepping in behind Roadhog and looking around, “ Oi! Check it out! Ha, what’re the odds?”   
Roadhog looks to see what Junkrat has found and sees him holding a little Pachimari doll, missing a tentacle and absolutely aged. It was falling apart in his hands. 

“Gimmie tha’.” Roadhog grunts, taking it from Junkrat and cradling it in his hands.   
“ Ha! Okay, fine. I know, Pachimari are property of Roadhog!” He giggles, finding delight in Roadhog’s obsession. 

Roadhog looks down at the toy, smiling sadly.  _ Pachi…  _ her first toy. Pachi and Pania, partners in crime. He puts the toy in his pants pocket and stares at the room. A child’s bed against the wall, missing blankets, a dresser torn apart but clothes still inside… 

Roadhog feels the walls closing in on him, he swears he can see her, twirling in the room. 

_ “Mako, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! You’re going to be an amazing father.  _

_ Oh Mako, I love it.  _

_ Oh Mako, you’ve made me so happy.  _

_ Oh Mako, she looks like you. She’s got your nose! _

_ Oh Mako… I didn't want this for her.” _

Roadhog shoves Junkrat out of the way and runs for the door, down the stairs and back out into the fresh air. He leans against his bike, looking away from the house for a long time.

It takes a bit but eventually he hears shuffling behind himself, “... Hoggy?” Junkrat asks cautiously, not daring to lay a hand on his friend. He’s not stupid, Junkrat knows a panic attack when he sees one. He can’t quite put it together in his head but he’s got a hunch. Has to do with the things they avoided talking about, but Junkrat has to ask. 

“... Had a daughter, didn’cha’? Before it all went ta shit? … whoever lived ‘ere really loved their little girl, I bet… bet you did just the same, yeah?” 

“...yeah.” Roadhog wheezes, tears falling behind the mask, dribbling out the bottom by his chin. 

Junkrat swallows, unsure of what to do with this kind of grief, but knowing he can’t just stand there useless like he is. He shuffles up a little closer, wraps his arms around Roadhog from behind. 

“ ‘m sorry, Roadie…” He murmurs against the fat of Roadhog’s back, “... at least she doesn’t gotta live this life tho’?” Junkrat ventures and Roadhog nods, trying to rein himself in, ground himself in Junkrat’s touch. Roadhog hasn’t felt the grief in so long. 

“... no place for a little princess out here. Bet ya loved her, ya big softie. Spoiled her absolutely rotten.” 

“ _ Jamison.”  _ Roadhog breathes in warning. He can’t think about it, not anymore. His heart already feels so tight in his chest. He grabs a can of gas and shoves it into his mask. Breathes. 

“ Sorry.” Junkrat steps back, fidgeting with his t-shirt. 

“... I’ll come in. I’m stayin’ downstairs.” Roadhog says finally, grabbing his bag. Junkrat perks up, helping Roadhog grab his things. 

“Welcome home, then!”

_ Welcome home…  _

 

\------

 

Junkrat, like the little scavenger he is, finally starts to go through all the little secrets of the house. Roadhog is doing something downstairs so Junkrat focuses on the bedroom he’s staying in. 

While he walks around he finds a loose floorboard and when he picks it up there’s a little box inside. He giggles in delight, “Treasure!” Not as good as his own. Qhen he opens it he knows they’re treasures, but not the kind people usually want. 

There’s photos, lots of them, and a letter still sealed up. The man in the photos is giant, just like Roadhog. A broad nose, thick face and brow, little tusky teeth like a pig. His black hair is pulled up and Junkrat swears if Roadhog looks like anything, he’d look like this guy!

Despite the trust between them Junkrat gets why Roadhog doesn’t take the mask off. It’s a symbol of a new person and a new life. He stopped trying to see his face a long time ago and doesn’t bug Roadhog anymore. He doesn’t need the mask to be off to feel up many inches of the man, afterall.

There’s the most beautiful sheila in the photos with him. She’s thick, with dark skin and long black hair. They look so damn  _ happy _ , like something out of one of those romance stories he sometimes hears. As he flips through the photos he finally sees the little baby, absolutely chubby and more often than not clinging to her father like a little monkey. 

“Daddy’s girl.” He grins, putting everything in the box and carrying it with him downstairs. He just has a feeling Mako may want to see it. 

“Found somethin’! From the owners of this place. Photos, a letter too, didn’t open it.” 

Mako looks at the box in Junkrat’s hands, unsure whether or not to take it. He’s had enough today, so he takes it, nods, puts it beside the couch. 

Roadhog opens it when Jamie is snoring upstairs. His heart stops when he sees the photographs, “... I lost all of my photos.” He breathes, touching Ruiha’s face delicately. She looks exactly how he remembers.

From the day they moved in, their wedding, Pania’s birth,  _ Pania. _ She’s staring at the camera, brown eyes shining in excitement. She looks so much like her mother, so much like him. They’d been so happy.

Mako puts his head in his hand and cries until he can’t breathe. Until everything hurts and nothing matters because  _ they’re gone. _

 

\-----

 

Roadhog finds the letter as he’s packing the box away. It’s sealed and in Ruiha’s handwriting it says, ‘open when you need me’. Mako isn’t sure what it means, he always needs her. He tucks it into his vest to think about another day, when his eyes aren’t tired from the sobs he can feel even in his bones. 

Junkrat, on the other hand, looks like he had a great sleep. “Roadie, Roadie! I say we have some of this canned ham for breakfast! Cook it right up over the fire! Well… roight, vegetarian. Ham for me and… carrots for you! How’s tha’ sound?” 

Roadhog just nods, laying on the couch as Junkrat goes about lighting a fire in a kitchen. He listens to him bang around for awhile then feels a plate land on his stomach. 

“Taadaa! Whatcha’ say we check out the property a bit more in a bit? Maybe out to the barn?” 

“No.” Roadhog says firmly.

“... you’ve been actin’ weird around this place, Roadie. It’s not just ’cause of the kid’s bedroom either. You  _ know  _ somethin’.” Junkrat accuses. 

Roadhog says nothing, shoves a forkful of carrots up under his mask.

His gaze darts up as he feels Junkrat’s flesh hand on his neck. Suddenly Junkrat is sitting on one of his legs, looking into his mask, “... I ain’t never seen you bothered like this. I know I wanna stay, cause it’s nice ‘ere, but hell, Hoggy… not if it makes you feel so bad.” Junkrat murmurs, his hand caressing the back of Roadhog’s head. 

Roadhog loved it when someone played with his hair, the delicate feeling of fingers through his now grey locks-

_ “Mako. Mako. Mako.” Ruiha coos, trying to wake her husband up from his afternoon nap on the sofa. There’s a hand in his hair, delicately stroking it out of his face and tucking it behind his ears.  _

_“You’ve got to feed the piggies. Mako.”_ _  
__He grunts defiantly and tilts his head into the touch, silently asking for more._

_ “ Ah!” She pulls her hand away, “Only good piggies get pat. Bad piggies get… tickles!” Ruiha’s hands skitter over his belly and Mako laughs, quickly sitting up and trying to squirm away.  _

_ “ O-Okay! Ruiha! Okay!”  _

 

Roadhog pushes Junkrat off him a little too forceful and Junkrat gasps as he ends up on the floor, “Well EXCUSE ME, for wantin’ to help ya! Ya absolute cock!” Junkat gets up, dusts himself off and marches upstairs. 

Whatever he’d been doing with Junkrat. The touching, the caressing, the  _ sex _ , it all felt like betrayal in this house. He couldn’t do that, not to his wife. 

 

\------

 

Junkrat sometimes takes what he’s told and does the exact opposite of it. That’s why, instead of taking Roadhog’s shove as a sign to leave him alone, he lays across the king size bed that night. He misses his hog, missed sleeping near him, having him touch him. Even if it wasn’t all the time the fiasco with this house was a long stretch of no Hoggy-Rat time. He wanted it, real bad. Junkrat figured maybe some quality time together would bring Hog out of his funk. 

“ Oh Roadie! Please come ‘ere!” He calls, sprawling out across the bed. 

There’s grunting and then up the stairs Roadhog comes. He steps into the bedroom hesitantly and just stares at Junkrat, laid out across his bed. 

“ I’ve missed ya, mate. So much, thought I could take care’a ya for a bit. Bet that’d make this all better.” 

This made it all worse. Junkrat was on the bed, the bed where- Here was Junkrat, his crazy companion that Roadhog just somehow cared for so much but who was the exact opposite of the woman he married. All sharp edges, wild youth, unthinking- 

Ruhia was soft, mature, well-mannered, but not afraid to mess around when Mako got silly. She was brilliant, absolutely more than he ever deserved. 

The only thing Ruhia and Jamie had in common was that Mako ruined their lives by blowing up the omnium. Also, maybe, that the loved him. 

Roadhog could see the love in Jamie’s eyes now, even if they hadn’t said it. Mako knew he’d have returned the feeling if they never stumbled on the farmhouse, if he didn’t have a whole new set of feelings in his chest.

Remorse, guilt, pain, guilt, sorrow,  _ guilt _ . 

Roadhog turns and leaves the room, ignoring Junkrat as he yells after him. 

“Roadie, wait!” 

Before he goes down the stairs Roadhog turns to him, swallowing. It hurt, but it was true,” I… I don’ think I can do that with ya, Rat, not no more.” 

“ You can’t- Why not, exactly?!” Junkrat demands, standing in the hall with his hands on his hips. 

“... not a good idea.” 

“Bullshit! It was a good idea out in the desert two weeks ago on the back of the bike! And a week before tha’ in that old shack! _Roadie,_ I know this place has you thinkin’ a lot of the old times but… you got me, now.” Junkrat tries, looking absolutely sincere. He holds his arms out expectantly, hoping Roadhog will come to him. Looks so damn hopeful.   
“ No, Jamison…” He says before going down the stairs. 

There’s silence for a bit before something is thrown down the stairs. 

“They ain’t comin’ back!” Junkrat yells, absolutely enraged as he stomps down the stairs,  “You can be sad all ya want but they ain’t comin’ back! Sorry I can’t be your pretty little wife and have your pretty little babies, ’m  _ me _ . Thought you liked that! Didn’ realize I was just some fuckin’ second choice! All you could find out in the desert!” He shouts, kicking his peg leg against the wall. 

“Those lives are gone and you gotta be happy with what ya got! Sorry ‘m such an awful prize but the end of the world don’t give a fuck about you, who would’a guessed!?”

Junkrat pulls on his boot and Roadhog turns around, fists clenched in anger but not having words to say. Junkrat was right.

Mako knew he messed this up.  
“... where ya goin’?”

“Like ya care.” Junkrat snarls, slamming the door behind himself. 

Roadhog stares after him and sits on the sofa, staring blankly ahead. Junkrat wasn’t an awful prize… he showed Mako how to live again. 

 

\------

“Fuckin’ bastard. Cocksucking, piece of shit!” Junkrat yells as he wipes his face on his arm. It was absolutely drenched in tears. “Can’t be true… you wouldn’t use me like tha’, Roadie, yer better than tha’ you stupid-” He sniffles, looking up at the barn. 

Huh, he didn’t realize he’d been walking over here… Half of the roof is caved in but he can still open the door and walk inside. There must have been lots of animals at one point. He sees the debris from the roof and the moonlight is shining in. It’s landing directly on two headstones, right next to each other in the middle of the barn. 

“Aw, hell…” Junkrat breathes, walking forward. 

Confronted with death everyday you never really gave it much thought. When someone bothered to actually bury a body… you could tell they’d been loved. It makes you stop and think. 

They’re real marble headstones but they look like they’ve been chiseled by hand, like it has been rushed, unexpected.

_ Pania Rutledge. Papa’s love for you could fill the ocean.  _

_ Ruiha Rutledge. I was a better man because of you. _

At the bottom of each headstone is engraved the same thing, _I’m so, so sorry._ _  
_ Junkrat sniffles, thinking of the care the father in the photos put into this. “... God, he loved you both… fuck I was so hard on Mako. He lost a family like you and I was just yellin’ cause I was jealous of-” 

Mako. Mako Rutledge. 

“Oh god.” Junkrat breathes, falling to his knees in front of the headstones. It all made sense. Everything made so much sense and Junkrat was so  _ stupid _ . 

“I-I’m not takin’ good care’a ‘im, am I?” Jamie breathes shakily, touching each of the headstones delicately. 

The woman in the photos had been beautiful, Roadhog’s daughter had been the absolute most precious thing… Mako had looked so damn _happy._ Junkrat let out a little sob.   
“I’ll take good care’a ‘im. I swear to you both.” He looks at Ruiha’s headstones and smiles, “Lucky sheila. He’s quite the catch, you must’a been awful special… and he was real lucky… I hope I can be half the partner you probably were… no wonder he don't wan’ me when he's thinkin' a you. Don't blame ‘im.”

He looks over to Pania and more tears fall over his cheeks, “Hey little lady. I’m yer Uncle Jamie. Lookin’ after yer Papa real good, or tryin’ when he’s not lookin’ after me… he misses ya, pumpkin. A bunch, I know it. Yer papa is the strongest, most loyal man-”  
Junkrat twirls around when he feels a presence behind him, “ _Mako.”_ He breathes, looking up at his friend. The mask was off and Junkrat sees the resemblance to this man, and the one in the photos. There’s so much anguish, age, and hardship scarred into his face now though.

He's ruggedly handsome, but now isn't the time for that.  
“I… I didn’ mean. Mako, I’m so-” 

“... Shoulda told you.” He murmurs, sitting down next to Jamison on the ground. He stares at the headstones that he hasn’t seen in about twenty years and swallows.   
“... I know why you didn’.” Junkrat hesitantly reaches out, touches his arm, and Roadhog doesn’t pull away, “... they were beautiful.” 

“ They were… “   
“ Roadie, what…. What happened to ‘em?” 

 

_ After the omnium blew things didn’t go to shit immediately. It was the fallout that was the worst of it. They didn’t know why but some people just held up better against the radiation than others. Nothing could be done about it.  _

_ Mako thought that the A.L.F was going to be the key to saving his home. It was the key to destroying it.  _

_ When he comes home, the animals have already died.  _

_ Ruiha runs to him, embraces him, “You couldn’t have known… you couldn’t have known.” She breathes, holding him as he cries on the porch.  _

_ He thinks maybe, just maybe, they’ll be okay. Then Ruiha starts to shake. She begins getting headaches, and her long hair falls out in clumps. They take her to the doctor but there’s nothing they can do.  _

_ “Radiation. You just have to live with it.” The say. _

_ It’s only four months before she’s completely bedridden. Mako stays home, brings her food, sings to her. Does everything he can to make her smile while he’s falling apart on the inside.  _

_ Pania makes her mama and papa smile. She’s the absolute best at it. She’s six and she knows mama is sick, but thinks it’ll be better soon.  _

_ It only gets worse, because Pania wakes up one night vomiting blood. Her curls fall out and Mako holds them both against his chest in their big bed, singing them songs and telling them stories.  _

_ “It’ll all be okay. Tomorrow is a better days, my princesses.”  _

_ “Love you, Papa.”  Make looks down at her with absolute adoration in his eyes.  _

_ When he wakes up they’ve both passed away.  _

_ His sobs shake the whole bed. Mako holds them, cradles Pania, begs whatever god there is to give him his family back. _

_ Roadhog knows they’re not coming back.  _

_ It’s not long after that it goes to shit. The government help leaves, they wall off the wasteland, Junkers rise up. Mako finishes the headstones and buries the bodies in the barn. They used to play with the piglets out here together, spend their afternoon tending the animals. He kneels in front of them, bows his head. _

_ “I… I am so sorry. I caused this. I did. I just… I can't be forgiven. I don't deserve it. I just hope… I hope…” Mako shakes, “I hope you're not sick anymore. That you're together. Happy and healthy, my sweet girls… Aroha ahau ki a koe… Aroha ahau ki a koe…”  _

 

Mako let's his head rest against Jamison’s shoulder, breathing deeply as he's absolutely overwhelmed by emotion.

“... didn’ mean to push you away, Jamie. The last thing I want…” Roadhog murmurs into his skin and Junkrat nods. He knows. 

“...I pushed too much. I know I do that. I do that a lot. This isn't somethin’ to push about. Oh Mako.” 

_ “Oh Mako.”  _

“... She'd of liked you. Both woulda. You an’ Pania would terrorise us together, ‘m sure.”

Junkrat laughs softly, “Bet she was a fiery little sheila… you think she'd be okay with… us? I already told yer wife ‘m trying to take care a ya. Even if I don't always do the best job.” 

“... She'd be happy if I was.”

“... Are you? Cause I know that if you had a chance you’d kill me if it meant they'd come back. Ah! Don't gotta deny it. I know. If slitting my throat right now would bring them back you would and I’d let you, Mako. I would.” Junkrat promises and Roadhog glares.

“No, don’t even say that. I wouldn't. Cause then I'd feel guilty and I'd miss you… it's not about trading one for the other… I had a life with them. I was lucky enough to be able to … now I have you, and I'm so glad I do, Jamie. You're the first one I trusted, that I let in. You’re not a replacement, or second best.” 

“ I love you.” Jamison blurts, covering his mouth in embarrassment.

Mako glances at Ruiha’s headstone and smiles somberly. He turns back to Junkrat, holds his hand tightly. 

“ I love you. “

 

\-------

 

They collectively decide it's best not to stay in the farmhouse. It wasn't okay for Mako’s mental health and as for their physical health they needed to keep moving. 

They spend their final day cleaning the whole house. They made the beds, sweep the floors, pack up every bit of supplies they can. In the box of photos Junkrat puts the little Pachimari and some of Pania’s clothes. Memories are important. 

“She wanted you to find that box someday.”

Junkrat was right. 

Mako is left alone by their graves to say his final goodbye. He doesn't plan on coming back. He pulls the letter from his vest and decides there was never a moment when he needed her more.

  
  


_ Mako my love. _

_ I know I don't have much longer left. Each day I lay here, looking at our daughter and I wish… I wish many things. I wanted her to grow up, get married, meet someone as good as her Papa who would sweep her off her feet.  _

_ I know that isn't going to happen. I know that she and I will pass soon, and you will be left.  _

_ I like to think we gave her the best life we could, even if it was short. We spoiled her rotten and I don't regret a moment of it.  _

_ I know I had the best life. From the moment I saw you I knew you'd treat me like a queen, and you were my king. I would do anything for you, Mako. I love you so much it hurts. _

_ Which is why I hope you don't live a life of guilt, regret, hardship. I know you blame yourself, I see it in your eyes when you look at me. It isn't. None of this was your fault. Omnics, government, ALF, Australia. Something. But not you Mako. You have a heart of gold.  _

_ Which is why I want you to be happy. Even if life is hard and you struggle, don't lock your kind heart away. It's made Pania and I so happy. If you're able, one day, share it with someone else.  _

_ We all know there's more than enough Mako _

_ Rutledge to go around.  _

_ Aroha ahau ki a koe _

_ Your loving wife, _

_ Ruiha Rutledge _

_  
___  
Mako leaves the barn and walks right over to the bike where Junkrat  is waiting. There's tears in his eyes and Junkrat goes to ask, but Mako kisses him. 

They've never kissed before and Jamie gasps, wrapping his arms around Roadhog’s neck so the moment will last longer. When they pull away Jamie is questioning and Mako smiles.

“... I want to share myself with you. I think there's more than enough of me to go around. “

The joke makes Junkrat giggles and he pecks Mako’s lips again before handing him his mask.

“‘m a lucky man. Whatcha say we get this show on the road, huh? I miss the breeze in my hair.” 

Mako looks at him adoringly and steals a kiss before strapping his mask back in place. It doesn't feel as constricting as it did before.

“Let's ride.”

Junkrat giggles, jumping into his sidecar. “Junkrat and Roadhog are back on the road! Watch out world!”

Roadhog climbs on his bike and starts the engine. He doesn't look back as he drives away, doesn't need to. The letter in his vest, the photos in the saddlebags, Junkrat in his sidecar hollering up a storm. He has his memories and his new family. Mako will be alright. With a glance at Jamie before watching the road ahead he knows, he'll be just fine. 

He's loved, after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I love comments! :)


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